Wednesday, December 21, 2005

And Now Your Answers - Day 196

People, my people, my fine people, my fine, fine people. I thank you all for baring your souls to Blog Jesus. And now I shall answer your questions and lift you up where you belong:

Pops asks:

Beej,

See. Look at all the questions now. And the day before there were but two. Like I said: whore.

Everyone lines up for the new whore, but nobody's laughing when we've all got a screaming case of gonorrhea.

I guess there should be a question in here somewhere... OK, how can you have a long slow decline (as you have) if you never peaked in the first place?

Blog Jesus answers:

I have never conformed to the norms of society, i.e. the successful must fall from the top then rebuild themselves and cruch everyone in their path. I like living on the fringe eating pancake batter for dinner and recommending that women not shave their legs.


Kenna asks:

This is because of the hostile takeover at blogshares, isn't it?

Blog Jesus answers:

Nope, it has more to do with the Easter Bunny molesting me as a kid.


Labbie asks:

Blog Geez,

I know who my father is, thank you very much. But on to a meaningful question: One for the money, or two for the show?

In Him,

Labbie

Blog Jesus answers:

No you don't.

Always go for the show - the girls really like those donkeys no matter how much they scream and cry.


Da Buttah asks:

Hottie Haschem:

Romper Room, eh? I'm more than down. So you're going on hiatus? Is that very christ-like of you?

You shall be missd!

Blog Jesus answers:

Of course it is not Christ-like. If I was Christ-like I would dispensing advice that actually helped people.


Grouch Grouch asks:

Ok, so we can't ask you questions and we can't ask Satan.

Should we start calling a 900 psychic? My favorite one is in Jail. Do you think she can call me collect?

Blog Jesus aswers:

I suggest just asking random people on the street. If you the proper knife you can get all the answers you want.


G.D. asks:

when is this blog closing down.

i'd like to have enough time to prepare my insults.

Blog Jesus answers:

It looks like next Wednesday. I eagerly awaiting your scathing comments.


HFB asks:

Bastard whore.

Do people with Tourette's Syndrome get into Heaven?

Blog Jesus answers:

Yes, but God doesn't cure them. Those fuckers just keep twitching and cussing because it amuses the shit out of God.


Danikabur asks:

Will I finally get to have what I always wanted before you go? (By that I mean have you)

P.S thank you for the many cocks headed my way. I'm sure I'll be appreciating them for a long time to come. :D

Blog Jesus answers:

Look under your pillow and you'll find a ticket to Indy. Now I am not going to tell you how to find my once you get here . . . that's part of the journey.
_________________________________________

Left hand nailed.

As always, I look forward to making your world right again.

- Blog Jesus

7 Comments:

At 7:05 PM, Blogger Labbie said...

Blog Geez,

Left hand nailed twice? At any rate, what you're really telling us is that you're going to start serving time for those pictures you took of a pinguin, a donkey, a midget, and a $10 hooker, and distributed at the local playground?

In Him,
Labbie

 
At 9:18 PM, Blogger HappyFunBall said...

If I ask another question, bringing the question quota up to two, thus making you actually have to answer the questions, will you smite me? How about if I ask pretty please?

Ok, then, will you smite labbie for kinda sorta stealing my question about how are you typing if both hands are nailed down?

 
At 9:28 PM, Blogger OldRoses said...

"It looks like next Wednesday". Really? What does next Wednesday look like?

 
At 7:50 AM, Blogger SJ said...

Dear Blog Jesus,

I'll miss you and all, but you have to know that I will be glad to be rid of any and all cock in the mayo jar references, right?

 
At 10:02 AM, Blogger Pops said...

Beej,

Why do the good ones always leave us? I don't mean you, I mean Bill Bixby. Why did Bixby have to die?

 
At 10:12 AM, Blogger J.U. said...

Dear Blog Jesus,

What about your right hand?

 
At 2:28 PM, Blogger Danikabur said...

Oh man it may take awhile to find you. Hmmm. Can my midget guide help me? Does he know where you are? Hopefully I don't get distracted along the way.....

 

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