Monday, December 12, 2005

And Now Your Answers - Day 190

People, my people, my fine people, my fine, fine people. I thank you all for baring your souls to Blog Jesus. And now I shall answer your questions and lift you up where you belong:

Duff asks:

dear boss~

what do you want for christmas? keep in mind that i'm trying for the prestigious "employee of the year" award.

oh, and my budget is 50 cents.

Blog Jesus answers:

I know a homeless bloke who will cut off one of his toes for two shiny quarters. Nothing says Merry X-mas like severed homeless toes.


Labbie asks:

Blog Geez,

Whew! What a weekend! I hooked up with the ex, and, let me tell you, it was like a bad acid flashback... Only this one involved cake. At any rate, will we get back together and live happily ever after?

In Him,

Labbie

Blog Jesus answers:

No, she's trying to sex your stink off of her as I write.


Danikabur asks:

I still didn't find the midget but there is a trail of Jack Daniels to my shoe closet. It doesn't go anywhere from the closet though. Any other ideas?

Blog Jesus answers:

Go to the nearest African American run S & M store.


SJ asks:

Dear Blog Jesus,

Is Labbie pretending he's getting laid again?

Blog Jesus answers:

He is actually pretending that he's pretending to get laid again. So very sad.


______________________________________

The live stage is a dead end.

As always, I look forward to making your world right again.

- Blog Jesus

5 Comments:

At 9:26 PM, Blogger duff said...

dear boss~

is it bad that i haven't started xmas shopping yet? i mean, i haven't bought a damned thing.

oh, and my cards? they'll be late again this year, too.....

 
At 2:02 AM, Blogger SnappedPhoenix said...

My Lord,

Is it okay to go out with someone if you know they are more into you, then you are into them? I mean, one person always like one better than the other, right?

 
At 2:35 AM, Blogger Labbie said...

Blog Geez,

I'm pretending to pretend? Niiice. At any rate, I heard that masturbating will make you blind... What's the scientific explanation for that phenomenom?

In Him,
Labbie

 
At 10:36 AM, Blogger Pops said...

Beej,

Chargers-Colts this weekend. The Colts are 13-0, but the way I see it, that's a soft 13-0. Sure, the Chargers have 5 more losses, but they have much better helmet logos. I say Chargers 45, Colts 0. Should we make some kind of bet?

 
At 1:27 PM, Blogger mrgumby2u said...

BeJeeZus,

Can you let us know who is going to win the war on Christmas? I don't want to waste my time and money shopping for presents if things are looking bad for the Christmas Mercantilists.

 

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