Friday, November 04, 2005

And Now Your Answers - Day 166

People, my people, my fine people, my fine, fine people. I thank you all for baring your souls to Blog Jesus. And now I shall answer your questions and lift you up where you belong:

David R. Collett asks:

I have to admit, after only 3 questions, my world is righter.

Where did you get your special powers of "making the world right" from?

Blog Jesus answers:

Peanut butter in my pockets.


Housekeeper asks:

This weekend I have a wedding to attend; it will be the third one I've gone to in less then a month. I've run out of gift ideas what do you suggest.

Blog Jesus answers:

A book on the art of the donkey punch.


Gawker asks:

Dear Blejus

If half of America is asleep waiting for 2008 to show up, how is it that anything is getting done?

Blog Jesus answers:

The other half have hired Mexicans that work on the cheap.


Danikabur asks:

Why do I enjoy cheezy sappy lame ass songs so much?

Blog Jesus answers:

You drink way too much.


Jess asks:

BJ:

If you were to come face to face with Master Yoda, WWBJD (what would blog jesus do)?

Blog Jesus answers:

Pick him up and throw him in the air and laugh giddily.


J.U. asks:

Dear Blog Jesus,

I have a pressing question to ask you, as you make the world right and you are, of course, Blog Jesus, one of the Natural Wonders of the world.

In your opinion, what is the cheesiest song in the entire world?

Oh yeah, my word verification was "kidho." What's up with that?

Blog Jesus answers:

"A Change is Gonna Come" by Sam Cooke.

Blogger is keen on such things.


Where Did I Go? asks:

Oh, Wholy BJ,

following on Duff's question,

What if one has a Lonely, Broken Heart?

What about a broken Coxis?

Blog Jesus answers:

There's no such thing. By that person has slit his or her throat.

Just eat some grapes and have a good cry.


Duff asks:

hey boss~

thanks for waiting. i had a really long post to pound out, then got a little sidetracked and.....

whew!..

but i'm here now. did you save me some takeout? i'm starving.

Blog Jesus answers:

I actually had the Chinese guy stay and he'll cook you some hot food.


________________________________________________

Gutters.

As always, I look forward to making your world right again.

- Blog Jesus

9 Comments:

At 10:53 PM, Blogger DC said...

B-Jesus

Bible Jesus is offering me a place in heaven in return for my devotion on earth. I haven't made my mind up and am still shopping around.

Can you beat his offer?

 
At 6:01 AM, Blogger J.U. said...

Dear Blog Jesus,

After a day of answering questions and making the world right for the masses of humanity, what do you do for fun?

 
At 9:29 AM, Blogger Motherdear said...

Congratulations, MPH, your site has been voted Best Comedic Blogsite by your peers at The Order of Brilliant Bloggers.

If you would care to do so, there is code available to paste into your template in order to denote your achievement. It is at http://www.mdskidsrbrilliant.blogspot.com in the post entitled "The Envelope, Please".

Thank you for your delightful writing, and your vast contribution to the blogging community.

 
At 11:31 AM, Blogger Jess said...

BJ:

Plain or peanut?

 
At 12:08 PM, Blogger 1 said...

where have all the bloggers gone?

 
At 12:41 PM, Blogger gawker said...

Dear Blejus
Is there any way I could coexist with a french beard, yet not keep pulling it all day till my face hurts?

 
At 3:47 PM, Blogger duff said...

dear boss~

you aren't going to fall off the face of the earth, too, are you? seems all my favorite blogs have gone on hiatus...and i'd hate to be unemployed- my health coverage just kicked in.

 
At 3:50 PM, Blogger Labbie said...

Blog Geez,

Do you know any good lawyers? I'm afraid Johnny Cochran is no longer with us, and I need some legal counsel. My blog is in peril. Help?

In Him,
Lab Guy "Labbie" Lab Boy

 
At 4:42 PM, Blogger SJ said...

Dear Blog Jesus,
What is a 'French beard' as referenced by Gawker? Is it just one of those beards that smells bad or is there a nice cream sauce involved?

 

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